It's been a month since I left Citi and according to Andrew I'm the happiest I've ever been. I don't complain as much, nor am I anywhere near as angry. Probably because I feel like I'm doing something somewhat important with me time other than wasting my life. Granted, I don't feel like I want to be an administrative assistant for the rest of my life, but being at Rutgers is helping me figure out a direction I want to go into with my life. For example, I've seen Dr. Haviland advise a bit and the craziness that goes on in the office, and that makes me want to one day be an adviser. Here I look up to my boss as a role model rather than dreading having to talk to them. It's more of a situation where I can see myself doing that in a few years, and I can see myself doing that and actually enjoying myself. Whereas at Citi, I didn't want to imagine myself being there in a few years. I didn't see myself becoming a banker, a service officer, an investment person. (Or as everyone's business card there says Assistant Vice President or Vice President)
I must say though that from Citi, I definitely miss the people. I miss walking into Beatriz's office and having conversations with her about anything random. I miss Eleni talking to me in half Greek half English. I miss Anna telling me about the Getty and hearing about her passion for Art History. I miss Francis and Magaly. I miss Johanna and her silliness and I miss Sebastian. I miss Benita and I wonder how she's doing constantly. Even though I liked such a large group of people there, I couldn't stay any longer. Sure the money was nice, and the people I interacted with the most were great. But the whole environment of the business, the fact that I felt like there I would be just stuck in this ridiculous rat race that people call life. Not that I think other people there are doing so and I don't mean to criticize anyone there or anyone that wants to choose that lifestyle. I'm just not cut out for that world.
So at least now I'm getting some inkling as to what I eventually want to do for the rest of my life. Ok, maybe that's worded incorrectly. I've always known what I want to do for the rest of my life, that's to do absolutely nothing. (Unless at some given point and time I felt like actually doing something) What I mean to say is that I'm starting to figure out something that I'd like to do to make the years in between now and my retirement all the more enjoyable. And since I was being realistic and honest, we'll change the above to "in between now and my 'time to go,'" (Because let's face it, I pee like an 80 year old now and seem to lose things just like them...but the time I actually hit that age, I'll be pissing on myself and forgetting about it!) most enjoyable.
A while ago I read a blog that one of Patricia's friends wrote about marriage and how it's ultimately settling. Now that I think about it, we should expect marriage to be settling. How many of us are actually doing what we planned on doing? How many of us will ever be doing something they planned on doing? And how many of us are just going to pick something that pleases us enough to make it through the day. If we're going to be settling on what makes us happy, why is it so hard to imagine that we settle on who makes us happy?
Life is one giant compromise. A lucky few get everything they want and the others just have to find things to make them content. That's how the cookie crumbles.
So at least now I'm getting some inkling as to what I eventually want to do for the rest of my life. Ok, maybe that's worded incorrectly. I've always known what I want to do for the rest of my life, that's to do absolutely nothing. (Unless at some given point and time I felt like actually doing something) What I mean to say is that I'm starting to figure out something that I'd like to do to make the years in between now and my retirement all the more enjoyable. And since I was being realistic and honest, we'll change the above to "in between now and my 'time to go,'" (Because let's face it, I pee like an 80 year old now and seem to lose things just like them...but the time I actually hit that age, I'll be pissing on myself and forgetting about it!) most enjoyable.
A while ago I read a blog that one of Patricia's friends wrote about marriage and how it's ultimately settling. Now that I think about it, we should expect marriage to be settling. How many of us are actually doing what we planned on doing? How many of us will ever be doing something they planned on doing? And how many of us are just going to pick something that pleases us enough to make it through the day. If we're going to be settling on what makes us happy, why is it so hard to imagine that we settle on who makes us happy?
Life is one giant compromise. A lucky few get everything they want and the others just have to find things to make them content. That's how the cookie crumbles.
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