Empty shallow small talk conversations that have no real meaning to them anymore. That's what we've been reduced to. Part of me would rather not have the empty conversations, I'd rather skip all of the pleasantries and get to the nitty gritty pieces at hand. Part of me wants to be able to divulge pieces of me that I used to once in the past and hear that the beans I spilled to you on the floor, were simply a product of my own neurotic behavior. I long for the days where we discussed nothing in particular. The days where we were just in each other's company for the sake of being in each other's company are long gone. And with them so are the days of watching bad movies in silence, playing video games, talking about inane things, cracking jokes and laughing at everything. AS part of me is so disgusted by you and your shallow decisions that I think even the empty conversations are asking too much of me.

I am beginning to not care how your weekend went. I care not to know as much as you choose not to include me in it. I ask because we are friends and what I am expected to do, what I am supposed to do. I do so because I'm stubborn and I'm trying to hold on to something that once had meaning. Which is as pointless as trying to hold on to ashes of painting...for the sake of it's artistic value.


Ha ha ha! I'm a dork. I'll edit this later....

New Facebook is now the only Facebook. For more information, read the blog, see the tutorial, or just keep an eye out for yellow boxes throughout the site.

The tone of this just seems a bit mean to me.


Also, I really hate how everything someone does on facebook shows up on my wall. I don't particularly care who's attending what, who found who through the "Friends Finder", etc etc.

Joe just ate a sandwich! Really who fucking cares?!

I've been feeling sick the last couple of days, light headed, dizzy and nauseated. I'm supposed to run tonight and I hope I can make it. I'm making my sister's wedding toppers. Four different prototypes. They are coming out well. I need to stop somewhere to get fabrics.

When I start getting back into anthropology again, I think I'll start another blog about that. Even though it's going to suck. Seriously. I've decided I'm going to keep a blog about everything I do, it helps me keep up with it.

My lunch break is almost over. Pootie.


I feel like death...seriously. I wonder what's wrong with me...and I'll keep wondering cause I'll never go anywhere!!

Palin terrifies the shit outta me. If you have a uterus or know someone with a uterus for the love of God don't vote for McCain. As soon as that old bastard croaks and she takes over, she'll make us check our uteri at the door. Who calls her a feminist? I'd certainly like to know what definition of feminist they use.

Frustrated

AAAAAGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I'm frustrated, irritated, annoyed, aggravated etc. You ever play Sims and your sim wants to go to sleep and then you see them pop up with the bed caption and they're making their lil faces and waving. That's how i feel right now. 1. I just want to go to fucking sleep. 3 hours of sleep 8 hours of work. And I still don't get to fucking go home, so imagine how I feel right now.

2. I just can't put up with people. There's too much fucking negative around me. I'm gonna go get fitted with my sister hang at her place for a bit and afterwards call the rest of the regulars and calm the fuck down. Sometimes I'm sorta glad I was outed and left behind...or as I like to say, that I moved ahead.

This shithole day is almost over!

I need to update on the running...maybe tomorrow. Even though I might not have time to run tomorrow :(.

Anywho. Indecision 08 has become more like well it's been decided for me. Regardless of how eh I feel about someone, I can't bring myself to vote McCain and I can't have my idealism take over and give up a vote to someone who is alright. So that's decided.

Went to the LGBTQ Fall Reception. Twas fun...I actually talked to people...after a while of course. And since when was there potpourri in the women's bathroom at the SAC?! And why was that one of the first things I noticed and wanted to talk about! AHAHAHAHA! I miss the SAC, I miss student involvement. Not that I don't like Bio...cause I love OUGI. Straight up the people there are AMAZING. But I think I know where my path will one day lead. I like helping students...who really want help. (Even if I do want to answer "But I'm a cheerleader" every time I hear "But I'm a senior!") So I think I might get slightly more involved...figure out what it is I want to do in Grad School and go for it! The keynote speaker today was awesome so I guess I would say that I'm inspired slightly. Or maybe I've had too much coffee today! Ha ha!

Awesome weekend plans coming up. I cleaned my apartment and it remained that way for about....two days :). Someone needs to take out the garbage STAT! Dress fitting tomorrow...did I mention my dress fits all the better! WOOT! That's cause I'm going from hot to even hotter! HA HA HA HA!!

I'm off to clean up some more, begin another mess and eventually get to sleep tonight!

Later kiddies!

Funniest thing ever.

"Life's not fair." It's a cliche, because it's true. And how do you know it's true? Think about all of the people that are just lucky enough to be born here that are just a complete waste of life, but find themselves to be so particularly awesome. Now think of people who are born in less desireable locations and have to go through a terrible existence. Not fair right? Whoever said all life is meaningful, never bothered to read myspace profiles. AHAHAHAHAHA. If this is what my generation is turning into, I most definitely do not want a part of it. I don't want to be part of a material driven, selfish, dillusioned generation that thinks they are something that they are clearly very far away from. Every action is all so fake, good deeds done simply to justify every other nasty aspect in their life. It's ok because....fill in whatever good thing it is you've done here! As if it works like Catholiscm tells people, 50 Hail Maries and you're no longer a sinner!

That sounds a little like I'm tooting my own horn. I sound like an elitist But I'm not. I know the own extent of my assholishness though. I know how good of a person I am and how bad of a person I am. I don't try to trumpet either side more, I don't try to color myself in a particular light or make myself any better or worse than I am. People try to hard to make themselves seem everlasting, to be the next big thing to be some overblown bombastic personality. Trumpeting one more than other, trying to make themselves everlasting somehow because a name will carry on. It's a shame none of that really matters....because realistically, nothing matters.

Friday ranting is the worst :)

I want to be a cool kid! Hopefully someday. I have to read that when I get a chance...but I should be sleeping! Tomorrow's work and another run! Woo hoo! I'm totally missing my peak :( Sigh. Oh well. You snooze you lose, but science isn't something that once it's done everyone's like well, that was cool...we'll forget about that. So hopefully...HOPEFULLY. I'll one day get to be a cool kid...finally!

A blog six years in the making....

Implications of One Plus One

Sometimes we collide, tectonic plates merging,
continents shoving, crumpling down into the molten
veins of fire deep in the earth and raising
tons of rock into jagged crests of Sierra.

Sometimes your hands drift on me, milkweed's
airy silk, wingtip's feathery caresses,
our lips grazing, a drift of desires gathering
like fog over warm water, thickening to rain.

Sometimes we go to it heartily, digging,
burrowing, grunting, tossing up covers
like loose earth, nosing into the other's
flesh with hot nozzles and wallowing there.

Sometimes we are kids making out, silly
in the quilt, tickling the xylophone spine,
blowing wet jokes, loud as a whole
slumber party bouncing till the bed breaks.

I go round and round you sometimes, scouting,
blundering, seeking a way in, the high boxwood
maze I penetrate running lungs bursting
toward the fountain of green fire at the heart.

Sometimes you open wide as cathedral doors
and yank me inside. Sometimes you slither
into me like a snake into its burrow.
Sometimes you march in with a brass band.

Ten years of fitting our bodies together
and still they sing wild songs in new keys.
It is more and less than love: timing,
chemistry, magic and will and luck.

One plus one equal one, unknowable except
in the moment, not convertible into words,
not explicable or philosophically interesting.
But it is. And it is. And it is. Amen.

Marge Piercy

So it's not ten years. It's six, but still! That's pretty amazing. Especially if you know as much about our relationship as we both do. Six years of putting up with a selfish hypochondriac who has bouts of narcissism and depression. Someone who doesn't appreciate things quickly, complains and whines about everything and is probably really ugly deep down inside. You have to give the man credit, he's able to find something so beautiful in me that he keeps coming back.

And me about him? I can't say anything negative about him. He's made the last six years incredible. He listens to me, he takes care of me, he puts up with me and my ridiculousness...even when he tells me I'm being ridiculous! He tries to put a smile on my face. He makes my friends his friends. (Have you met my friends?!) He's just perfect. I can't fault the guy. He'll make the next six years incredible. I'll do my best to make the next six years miserable. That way, we'll even each other out! :)

And us together? Six years of silliness, six years of some arguing, six years of cuddling, six years of screaming, six years of love, six years of laughs, six years of questioning, six years of knowing exactly why. Six years of proposing ridiculous theories to one another, three years of WoW. Six years of binking, six years of seeing who will eat the other first, six years of promising that when the Zombies come, we'll be bad ass together or if the other gets bitten, we'll take the other out. Six years of just us trying to fit together, sometimes trying to come apart. Six years of us together.

Funny thing is neither of us know the day. As soon as we could be together, we were. Ha! What dorks!

Who needs to pay for therapy...when you has the internets!

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||| 22% Stability |||||||||||| 42% Orderliness |||||| 30% Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 70% Interdependence |||||||||||| 43% Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 70% Mystical |||||||||||| 43% Artistic |||||||||||||||| 70% Religious || 10% Hedonism |||||||||||||||||| 76% Materialism |||||| 30% Narcissism |||||| 30% Adventurousness |||||| 30% Work ethic |||||| 23% Humanitarian |||||||||||||| 56% Conflict seeking |||||||||| 36% Need to dominate |||||||||| 36% Romantic || 10% Avoidant |||||||||||| 50% Anti-authority |||||||||| 36% Wealth || 10% Dependency |||||| 30% Change averse |||||||||||||||| 63% Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 63% Individuality |||||||||||||| 56% Sexuality |||||| 23% Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Family drive || 10% Physical Fitness |||||||||||| % Histrionic || 10% Paranoia |||||||||||||||||| 76% Vanity |||| 16% Honor |||||| 23% Thriftiness |||||||||||| 43%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality test by similarminds.com

Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

trait snapshot:
introverted, secretive, messy, depressed, does not like leadership, somewhat nihilistic, observer, does not make friends easily, unassertive, feels invisible, feels undesirable, hates large parties, does not like to stand out, leisurely, suspicious, submissive, abstract, unpredictable, intellectual, likes rain, likes the unknown, negative, weird, not a risk taker, unadventurous, avoidant, strange

And when you're feeling open I'll still be here
But not without a certain degree of fear
Of what will be with you and me
I still can see things hopefully

Rolling

What in the ham sammich?!

part of me wishes....i didn't think so much.

being a xxxxxx. then off to bed.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck is a moron. A complete moron brainwashed by ideology and completely unable to form her own opinion.

She's fought corruption. Why not vote for her she's a woman? Right, that's all women care about? (Even though before the clip, she was saying it lowers the woman voter to say they'd just vote for a woman.

Yes a woman who supports a bridge to no where, and has some corruption issues of her own to deal with is just fucking wonderful. Not say that Hilary is a saint...far from it, but she was running for President and we know what she's capable of.


Blah...why do I even care about the View is beyond me!

Farewells...

A 74.XXX.XX.XXX your constant blog hits will surely be missed! At least my new hits from Greece should still be able to help me make some cash off Adsense.