Empty shallow small talk conversations that have no real meaning to them anymore. That's what we've been reduced to. Part of me would rather not have the empty conversations, I'd rather skip all of the pleasantries and get to the nitty gritty pieces at hand. Part of me wants to be able to divulge pieces of me that I used to once in the past and hear that the beans I spilled to you on the floor, were simply a product of my own neurotic behavior. I long for the days where we discussed nothing in particular. The days where we were just in each other's company for the sake of being in each other's company are long gone. And with them so are the days of watching bad movies in silence, playing video games, talking about inane things, cracking jokes and laughing at everything. AS part of me is so disgusted by you and your shallow decisions that I think even the empty conversations are asking too much of me.

I am beginning to not care how your weekend went. I care not to know as much as you choose not to include me in it. I ask because we are friends and what I am expected to do, what I am supposed to do. I do so because I'm stubborn and I'm trying to hold on to something that once had meaning. Which is as pointless as trying to hold on to ashes of painting...for the sake of it's artistic value.


Ha ha ha! I'm a dork. I'll edit this later....