I find that relationships are like books. (maybe because I form relationships with my books?) They both start out the same, there's that unexpected feeling of what's to come, the questioning of where this will all lead me. If it's a good story hopefully the characters grow on to you, their presence becoming ever more important. Finally, when you reach the end you're sad to see them go, because you know even as you place them onto the bookshelf, they'll never be part of your life again. You hold on to them, convincing yourself that you can always visit and relive the same stories, you can reread them, but they'll never be the same as they were the first time. Instead of sitting on the bookshelf as reminders that you could always go back, they're just reminders of what was....and are now just collecting dust on the shelf.

I have never been good with endings, nor have I been good with beginnings. I don't want to begin or let go, I'd rather stay in the middle and continue going on as if the only boundary in sight were the horizon. But that can't be, while the middle is enjoyable there's nothing there, and I need to learn to get to the other side.

Implications of One Plus One

Sometimes we collide, tectonic plates merging,
continents shoving, crumpling down into the molten
veins of fire deep in the earth and raising
tons of rock into jagged crests of Sierra.

Sometimes your hands drift on me, milkweed's
airy silk, wingtip's feathery caresses,
our lips grazing, a drift of desires gathering
like fog over warm water, thickening to rain.

Sometimes we go to it heartily, digging,
burrowing, grunting, tossing up covers
like loose earth, nosing into the other's
flesh with hot nozzles and wallowing there.

Sometimes we are kids making out, silly
in the quilt, tickling the xylophone spine,
blowing wet jokes, loud as a whole
slumber party bouncing till the bed breaks.

I go round and round you sometimes, scouting,
blundering, seeking a way in, the high boxwood
maze I penetrate running lungs bursting
toward the fountain of green fire at the heart.

Sometimes you open wide as cathedral doors
and yank me inside. Sometimes you slither
into me like a snake into its burrow.
Sometimes you march in with a brass band.

Ten years of fitting our bodies together
and still they sing wild songs in new keys.
It is more and less than love: timing,
chemistry, magic and will and luck.

One plus one equal one, unknowable except
in the moment, not convertible into words,
not explicable or philosophically interesting.
But it is. And it is. And it is. Amen.

Marge Piercy

Weekend Wrap Up.

Friday night, met up with people from the SAC for Amy's party...we played geography games, because we're dorks. Amy let me know that Friday night she's going out! Guess that means I am too...couldn't drink with her before when she was an employee and I was a student. Funny thing is, you could do that with your professor...hmm. After that party, Andrew headed down to Middletown for the wedding pre-night. I went out with Ruthy to Stuff Yer Face. We drank far too much Dos E Equis on entirely too empty stomachs which ensued in a no you drive, no you drive argument in front of Francis.

Saturday I got all dolled up to go to the wedding. It was a nice wedding, the place had good food. (Yes, that's how I judge if a wedding is good or not.) It followed all the usual wedding fare. Cake in the face, garters being thrown, bouquets being caught, shots, silliness and open bar. The DJ was insane though, that boy must've had ADHD as a kid. He needed some Ritalin for sure. During the wedding I got pestered into the whole, "When are you and Andrew getting married" BS. (Andrew got his fare share of you're next too) Which I answered with "I'm too young." Which people understand and then don't, as soon as I tell them that we've been together for almost 6 years. If it ain't broke...don't fix it people!! I'm convinced married people just want to suck you into their club of unhappiness and misery and quite frankly, Andrew and I don't need rings on our fingers to pull that one off! :) ! Co-habitation for the win! I'll only marry Andrew to cover his ass in case anything happens to me. The funny thing is everyone assumes it's Andrew. So they're like "I'll work on him" Like poor me, I'm not being asked to get married. As if my entire life is completely meaningless and I'm just waiting for my big day. The truth is I am waiting for my big day...but that's when I get to write PhD after my name! Thank you! That or when I win the lottery and can retire before 30. Marriage...eh whatever
After the wedding Andrew and I just vegged out at home. TV and Chinese for the WIN!
And finally today, Andrew left for Cali and I'm doing laundry followed by some work for work...and possibly some Sims 2! And that's a really poorly written, sloppy but short weekend in review.

Forecast for this week: I'll be sad all week and all by my lonesome so I'll probably play a lot of Sims 2 and be up late talking to Andrew on what is normal time for him, but late for me! Friday will take forever to come followed by a hectic week of work because "I don't know what class I want to take!" GREEAT!!

A Jungle

The best conversation about scrabble ever:

Andrew: I had no idea the world of scrabble was so intense!
Maria: It's a jungle
Maria: a wooden tile jungle
Maria: of danger


Runner up for quote of the day:

"The last time that I checked, a nipple was not a dangerous weapon." Thanks CNN, for the lighter side of news!

I have to do my performance review for work and is if it were a classroom assignment, I've left it for the last minute! Here's my performance review though honestly: I do my job as best as I possibly can, sometimes I slack off, sometimes I'm just not in the mood. These kids sometimes drive me insane and other times I feel really great about being able to help them! I don't know if that makes me a great employee or not, but hey, I get the job done right!

Death by oatmeal!

Updates.

I've kept this thing a little out of date haven't I?

First, I'd like to thank everyone who sent me birthday wishes or celebrated my birthday with me. Thanks for making my day special!! The rest of you who forgot, well you're all assholes :)!

The weekend rocked! A couple of people came over, we all rocked out at Rock Band. Some people I haven't seen in a long time, so it was nice of them to come out and hang out. Had a great time, have a bunch of left over food and I'm amazed I didn't get kicked out for Rock Band! Ha ha!
Sunday I spent the day with my parents. My mom got upset over her leaving. I'm sure that craziness will last all week! Wonderful!

Yesterday I was supposed to see the Daily Show and that was a bust. Even with reserved tickets we were cut. By ten people! Just goes to show that what you hear on the internets is fake! Ruthy and I did go to the Museum of Natural History, checked out the New Hall of Human Origins. That was pretty cool. We also went to the Museum of Sex. I took two pictures which I'll post as soon as I get home and I have to email them to Ruthy since she's the reason I took them.

That's all for now. More maybe later tonight.

One year closer. ...

It's True Most are Unaware

Soon the Bible will be hate speech
Count on it.There are too many scriptures that have "bad" things to say about people who do homosexual things. As soon as the hate speech legislation passes you'll be sure to find edited versions of the bible, as you already do. And ministers,
preachers whatever you want to call them will have their sermons monitored as
you already do today and those who use "hate speech" will be fined or jailed.And
most Americans could care less, since most are unaware of the vast majority of
things said in the Bible and all too readily believe what the media tells them
it says

The following is a comment that appeared on the following website . (The website by the way is all complete garbage). The sad thing is though the author of the comment also completely ignorant of what the Bible says. Don't forget Bible trumpeters, that infallible word of God also discusses what to do about menstrauting women, when to stone your children and that rape is OK in the countryside, but bad in the city.

And as for Rep. Kern, I understand you have freedom of Speech, but you're entire "stop ramming your agenda down my throat" stance.... goes against much of what you've been up to.

I Wanna Rock......ROCK!

Blah blah blah, that's my mood right now and if I cared enough to blog about it I would, but I don't. I'm just irritated and annoyed at everyone. Ok, so maybe not everyone but a particular few and I rather just go lay in my bed.

I always click to start a new blog and then everything that I thought I wanted to right about disappears from my head. And maybe, just maybe blogging at work isn't the best thing to do.

Worth Every Penny.

This coming from a completely unbiased and reputible source! It's not like I put up my own price here people! Not that I like to advertise, because I think actually charging would be illegal in every state but parts of Nevada, but at least now we know what Andrew's getting himself into. The good thing is that at least when it comes to us together, I'm getting the better end of the bargin! The scary part is the average was $150, that's only scary because that's what I think the going rate is, or so I think I've heard on Real Sex. I don't know if anyone would pay that much, but when you're hot you're hot! :)

Surveys Mean I Had Nothing Better to Do.

1. Are you ready for 100 questions? If I weren't I wouldn't answer them!

2. Do you watch college football? Only when Rutgers is playing.

3. Who will fill this survey out after you? I don't think anyone will.

4. Who was the last person to send you a text message? Ruthy

5. Do you love anyone? Andrew and my familia and some of my friends.

6. Are you happy? Content.

7. Where was the last place you went shopping? I'm going to buy some pants from delia's tonight maybe.

8. How do you feel about your hair? I think I want to go back to it being shorter. This is no fun.

9. Where do you work? At Rutgers.

10. Last thing you ate/drank? Cheese and a Sprite.

11. Do you wish you were someplace else right now? Home.

12. Do you have any pet peeves? Me? Pet Peeves? I wonder if I have anything that isn't a pet peeve.

13. Do you have any expensive jewelry? A couple things, but nothing ridiculous.

14. AIM or Yahoo? AIM

15. Do you like math? Yes because I'm a dork.

16. How many hours on average do you work a week: I get paid for 37.5, but I work more.

18. Favorite baseball team? I don't watch baseball, but if I did it'd be the Mets.

19. Favorte NBA team? I used to like the Knicks, but I got over b-ball.

20. Do you watch the Olympics? Nope.

21. Last restaurant you went to? I haven't eaten out in a while. Tejas maybe. I forget.

22. Who was the last person to call you? Andrew

23. What’s your sign? Pisces

24. Do you have a favorite number? 13

25. Last time you did volunteer work or made any donations? When I went to Spain, I volunteered AND donated money!

26. What do you spend the majority of your money on? Garbage I don't need!

27. Where does your family live? Twenty minutes away and in Greece.

28. Are you an only child or do you have siblings? I have one sister.

29. Ever been called a bitch? Yes

30. Got any guilty pleasures? Plenty of them.

31. Do you drink beer? I only drink beer now.

32. Whats your favorite color? Green is starting to get up there on the list, but I still love blue and black.

33. Did you ever collect Beanie Babies? Nope, but I have a monkey one that Ruthy got me.

34. Ever bought anything online? Plenty of things.

35. Myspace or Facebook? Facebook.

36. Do you have T-Mobile? Nope

38. Do you sometimes wish you were someone else? Sometimes

41. Last time you saw your parents? Sunday.

42. Do you have any talents? I don't think so, but others do.

43. Ever been in a wedding? Yep! I was a bridesmaid.

44. Do you have any children? Nope

45. Last movie you watched? Um...crap I don't remember! Ha ha ha!

46. Are you missing anyone at the moment? Nope

47. Did you take a nap today? Nope

49. Ever been on a cruise? Nope

50. Did you notice number 40 was missing? Nope

52. Do you have any wealthy friends? Nope

53. Ever met anyone famous before? Yep

54. Favorite actor? I don't really have one.

55. Favorite actress? Same as above.

56. Are you multi-tasking right now? Nope, I'm completely not tasking.

57. Could you handle being in the military? I don't know, sometimes I think I should've joined and then I think about it and I don't really like deserts and people yelling at me and covering up part of my sexuality.

58. Are you hungry or thirsty? Thirsty and in fact a majority of the time, people are really thirsty not hungry.

59. Favorite fast food restaurant? Taco Bell

61. What is your average cell phone bill? I have a family plan so about $120

62. Do you own a camera phone? Yes

63. Ever had to take a sobriety test? Nope

64. Do you believe in Karma? Nope

65. Can you speak any other languages? Yes

66. Last time you went to the gym or worked out? I walk 2miles 5 days a week...so I always work out!

67. How many pairs of shoes do you own? A few too many.

68. Do you have a photo hosting site that you use? I use photobucket.

69. Last place you were? Work

70. What is your college mascot? Scarlet Knights!

71. Ever been to Las Vegas? Nope

76. Have you ever been gambling? Yup, but I don't like it.

77. How old are your parents? Old enough.

78. When is the last time you updated your blog? Right now.

79. Do you have your wisdom teeth? Two of them are in there, I lack the other two supposedly.

80. Favorite place to be? Home.

81. Have you been to New York City? Too many times.

82 Favorite sit down restaurant? Jose Tejas or Pithari

83. Ever been to Disney Land? Nope

84. Do you have a favorite cartoon character? Um...I have a few.

85. Last thing you cooked? Chicken.

86. How is the weather today? It was nice!

87. Do you email? Yup!

88. Last letter/piece of mail you received besides junk or a bill? A card from my sister.

89. Last missed call? Ruthy I think.

91. Last voicemail you received? My grandmother.

92. Do you drunk dial/text? I used to.

93. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone? I dropped it in a toilet once.

94. What is the best city in the state that you live in? Highland Park! Ha ha ha! I'm a fan of New Brunswick, because that's where I went to school.

96. Did you just die? Um...no because I'm still typing.

97. Are you bored right now? Yep

98. Last concert you went to? Bamboozle I think.

99. What do you think about before you go to bed? How late it is and how I should go to sleep earlier.

100. What are your plans for tomorrow? I'm going to work and meeting an advisor.