Tiresome Tuesdays.

Some times I don't know what's worse...the glances or the....

....

.....
Aside from the kitty (Charsi by the way) being able to come home with me, and getting the graduation certifications done at work today. Everything else has sort of been well, a mind jumble. I keep thinking over specific situations over and over again in my head. And wonder what the fuck I should be doing about it. Only my thoughts are never really in any particular order. They are always consistently jumbled and eventually become round about in what I wonder is me just trying to give myself answers that seem right. Am I trying to convince myself of some sort of reality that isn't really present, or is it what's really there and I'm complicating more than it needs to be. I've wrestled with this same question for what I feel like has been forever and now I'm beginning to think that my response is no longer of the same caliber that it used to be, but that more than ever I want it to be. Before it was clear as day and now....

And all I want to do is write about it, and just get it out and even then I feel awful about it. Well, I'd never actually blog about it, but I'd never want to journal about it and when I do I can't All the small stories and dialogues I try to pen fail miserably. I can't talk about it because it just makes me feel even worse and it probably comes out worse than anything I try to write.


Blah blah blah, I just don't want to think of it anymore. I don't don't don't. And if I put anyone in an uncomfortable situations I'm sorry about it.

Mysoon to be kitty!

Update:
Charsi is mine! And I will post new pictures as soon as she's home! :) I have to give a big thank you to Heather for finding such a cutie patootie and thinking about Andrew and I. EEP! Too excited!! :)!

This article just blew my mind. BOOM Blown. I'll respond to it in a little bit. Completely infuriated as if I weren't to begin with anyways. UGH! It's 2008 people Two Thousand Fucking Eight, grow the fuck up and leave your backwards fucking beliefs behind!

A few laughs...

Bittersweet.

So Obama won!! Woots are in order, but the road ahead is still going to be a long and hard one. I should be excited, considering that I go into all of these events with the notion that what I want will lose. (Super Bowl, Euro '04, Euro '08 all except the 04 election...and we all know how that ended!!) It's a trick I play for two reasons: 1. I don't want to jinx anything and 2. I'd rather begin the night disappointed and end on a happy note. I was happy last night when Obama won, actually I think at first I was more in disbelief. My brain couldn't comprehend it, like GTFO no way?! But the BBC wouldn't lie right? So now I'm just happy and I'm excited about what's to come from all of this. Is it really going to be change? And how much of a change? I know it won't be immediate, but I'd like to know what direction this will put us in. Excited I guess for the future.

And yet, part of me is still a little disappointed. Where was the youth 4 years ago? You guys all stepped out this time, but you could've ended the Era of Bush II last time. He was going to get out of office regardless of whether you voted this term or not. But you sat on your asses until it was made "cool" to vote and believe that you actually had a voice. IMs, Text messages, Myspace/Facebook Statuses remind me to vote. I've always voted. Don't remind me like I'm some imbecile, because where were you four years ago? Where were you when you could've made another difference? I guess I'm mad that it took kids my age 8 years of Bush to realize how backwards he is, than the first measly 4. So to my generation, thanks, but part of me still feels like it might be a little too late. Let's just hope this isn't a one time thing and you all do get woken up and realize that the youth does have a voice, we've always had a voice, and we definitely have more stamina to make a bigger ruckus!

And I'm also upset because of all the gay bans that passed. Arizona and Florida banned gay marriage, which I sort of expected from them, sadly. (It's sad that I have to expect that!) But Cali?! Really?! Really?! I was kinda hoping Prop 8 wouldn't go through and it'd set some standard for the country or so I thought in my idealistic mind. Completely disheartened. I just don't understand how, it's highly illogical. And maybe that's why I'm so flabbergasted, because this is something that won because those backing it, don't use logic. Oh well, I guess the key is to just keep on fighting.


More on this later, as I always say.