....

.....
Aside from the kitty (Charsi by the way) being able to come home with me, and getting the graduation certifications done at work today. Everything else has sort of been well, a mind jumble. I keep thinking over specific situations over and over again in my head. And wonder what the fuck I should be doing about it. Only my thoughts are never really in any particular order. They are always consistently jumbled and eventually become round about in what I wonder is me just trying to give myself answers that seem right. Am I trying to convince myself of some sort of reality that isn't really present, or is it what's really there and I'm complicating more than it needs to be. I've wrestled with this same question for what I feel like has been forever and now I'm beginning to think that my response is no longer of the same caliber that it used to be, but that more than ever I want it to be. Before it was clear as day and now....

And all I want to do is write about it, and just get it out and even then I feel awful about it. Well, I'd never actually blog about it, but I'd never want to journal about it and when I do I can't All the small stories and dialogues I try to pen fail miserably. I can't talk about it because it just makes me feel even worse and it probably comes out worse than anything I try to write.


Blah blah blah, I just don't want to think of it anymore. I don't don't don't. And if I put anyone in an uncomfortable situations I'm sorry about it.