My Life with the Bottle.

This got boring.....

So I went blonde. Supposedly, they have more fun!

At first, everything seemed as mundane as it did when I was a brunette. Nothing was out of the ordinary.

And then...I got all crazy! I hooked up with monkeys...for some hot interspecies action! Though I didn't stray far...after all, I have something for our closest relatives!

Then I wanted some plumber action...so I gave Mario a try. He was so good at keeping Toadstool happy...I wanted to see what he could do for me. Turns out he cleans pipes well, and if you give him a mushroom, he get bigger....and I had a shitload of mushrooms!!!

After that, I wanted a new look, so I figured why not botox. Now I'm blonde with sexy full lips!!

And then, the faces started! I was having too much fun....going too crazy! I couldn't control myself!

Until I finally collapsed from my fun frenzy. And that's how I fell asleep. Let me tell you what...mom was right, you keep your face like that for too long, it'll stay like that!

I think the dye is getting to me!

Moral of today's story: Do not leave me alone with a camera!