Fuck you Eagles! Ha ha ha! I'm not actually angry. My team didn't get slaughtered like the last team the Eagles played. I'm disappointed that they didn't bring it, like they should have. So actually, like a decent person does, I have to say, good game to the Eagles. We didn't want it more, they did. Though I hope you lose next week! :).

On a bigger and more important note. I'm infuriated and it has nothing to do with the game. Which is why I wanted to get my spiel about the game out before I started saying I was pissed. Because I'm not pissed about the game. I'm just upset over it.

I think part of me is angrier that I bit my tongue for so long and didn't get what I've been wanting to say out for the longest time and the other part of me is angry for knowing that I was wasting my time and constantly hearing about how I'm wasting my time, but still choosing to do so. I can only be angry at myself for that.

But for the record. Dealing with a friend doesn't include the times you chose to hang out with them. That's part of being a friend. Dealing with a friend isn't even proof-reading their papers or listening to them babble on about nonsense. That all comes with the territory of being a friend. Friends do things like that for each other. It's the whole reciprocity aspect of being a friend. You scartch my back, I scratch yours and an alliance forms. Dealing with someone however, is always trying to explain to them how you feel and in return having that sentiment blown off by a sweeping statement such as "You think too much" or some other ridiculous excuse that you give to try to say that you're not choosing sides. But you've made is so disturbingly obvious that you have that it's sickening. Not to place all the blame on you though. Chances and common sense tell me that I should've known from the first time you decided to pick someone over me that this friendship was not viewed the same on both sides. It should've been a clear sign that at any given moment you would toss me aside for whoever stroked your ego, or made you feel like you fit in.

A good friend of mine always talks about the loyalty. It irks me. I think it's always been more the word, than the concept. Some words just strike me the wrong way, loyalty has always been one of them. It feels out dated, it sounds as if we are pledging some allegiance to a king or fellowship or something. But the concept, the idea of fidelity, the idea that you're not going to toss the other person aside like an old toy because a newer and shinier one came along, is what she always spoke about.

You think it's merely about disappearing. But it's never simply about that. I have friends disappear on me all the time. Disappearing isn't hanging out with the same group of people and choosing not to acknowledge another. It's not something you just pull up to cover your tracks, when your tracks aren't so easily coverable.

In addition, if you no longer chose to partake in my company, simply come forth and say so. It's better than the bullshit job you're doing of trying to act as if you're so busy. Honesty, regardless of how heartbreaking it may or may not be, is always better. If you don't like who I am anymore, if you find some fault with me then just say so. I've obviously found enough flaws in you to make me even question the reasoning behind my wanting to maintain your friendship. It's the runaround that irritates me the most. Why not just come out and say it, I don't like your company anymore. I don't want to be your friend. You irritate me. It would have saved so much more time. Efficiency people...JEEZ!